Monday, April 15, 2013

A Quiet Snow-Covered Thank You

As I stare out of my picture window to the heavily falling peaceful snow, I feel a strange sense of calm and appreciation.  Today was a strange day as this mid-April freak snowstorm surprised us all.  Today was also the day of my final interview of many with a company I have been pining after since I discovered their existence months ago.  As I sat speaking with each member, and ultimately the company's owner, I discovered that this truly is the job and the organization for me.  I have fretted and wallowed, been absolutely frustrated and hopeless in this seeming perpetual job search, but today I got the overwhelming feeling that it is almost over and somehow I have come out the other side in my best case scenario.  When my last "dream job" fell through I considered submitting to the road more traveled and pursuing a path that I once loathed.  But I wouldn't let myself give in.  How I've gotten here to this point is a mystery to me but surely no accident.  I've stuck to my instincts, my passion, and my dreams and low and behold, I am just hours away from hopefully reaching this career pinnacle.  It is an empowering feeling and a much needed sense of accomplishment.  So it is possible.  It is possible to shape life to fit your vision.  Even when I want to give up and make life more easy for myself, I just can't.  It will come together if you persevere and keep believing.  And even if the verdict is in tomorrow and I don't have this job, I know I tasted the dream and it is achievable.

I have gone through my fair share of hard days and self doubt, believing I would never find those illusive things that will bring me bliss.  But in the end I have continued on relentlessly without settling for second best.  Nine months ago I was without a home, lost and clueless about every facet of my future.  Now I have found the love of my life and this beautiful home in Colorado and a network of amazingly supportive people and hopefully the absolute perfectly matched job.  I gaze back out at the snow covered street under the hazy night sky and say a quiet thank you to this brilliantly mysterious and wonderful life.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Vicarious Adventures

It's been over three years since I embarked on my own epic adventure, uprooting from life as I knew it and changing my life by living abroad.  Now back to a more settled life, essentially moments away from pulling the trigger on a new career-oriented domestic commitment, I watch as my friends blast off one by one on their own big adventures in all different corners of the world.  Each destination represents a life voyage for these bold friends of mine.  It's been so incredible to watch as they contemplated, planned, and went for it, all beginning from an instinctive, yearning feeling.  I am so genuinely proud of each of you for not allowing the inevitable challenges deter you from your dreams.

One of you is on a physical challenge, out to face the forces of nature while becoming enlightened by a new way of living; another one of you is following your heart to be with your love on the other side of the world; some of you are off to educate and nurture the lives of people less fortune; and you two are itching a perpetual scratch to live among an entirely new culture together as a pair.  So I sit here, comfortable with my more "conventional" life in the States, and observe the journeys of you incredible seekers, out to face your deeper fears in order to follow a passionate quest, unique to each.  Good luck friends, and congratulations for taking the leap.  I wish it was possible to come visit each of you and share a piece of the experience.

I am learning that there is a time for living life in a mode of discomfort, yet constant excitement, and a time for nesting and learning other life lessons in a different way.  When I sat on my favorite beach in the Canaries at the end of my long sabbatical from convention, I knew it was time to close that chapter.  Another chapter with stories of international adventures and self discovery will open again for me, but for now I will humbly accept that this is not my time.  It is your time though, so when I am dying for that lifestyle and feeling once again, I will rely on living vicariously through you.