Thursday, March 14, 2013

I've made some stark discoveries as I once again float in the limbo stages of unemployment.  The process of career trial and error is exposing my past utter naivety.  I spoke loudly about the simplicity and satisfaction of living to the beat of your own drum, carving a path that veres away from the highway of life that so many seem to take.  My belief at the time was that people choose to take the easy road when they choose convention and that I was somehow above this commonly selected avenue.  But as I've struggled with the challenges of scarcity due to relentlessly standing on my principals, I've discovered that my principals were admittedly narrow and limiting within themselves.  I had this distant idea that I was being nobel by flying about the fringe, but really I was also engaging some real avoidance tactics.  The rose colored glasses that I was unaware of having on my face have fallen off and now a part of me feels foolish for my blatant rebellion to conventional living.  My peers who stuck with their demanding jobs but walked home with a paycheck have earned resources that can be used as devices for freedom and flexibility that I no longer have.  These luxuries have run dry for me and now I am faced with the simple need for financial stability.  Our society has a way to it and the more I fight it, the more I seem to get left behind.  At one time in my life it took great courage to step away from this life of conventional living; now it takes courage to reenter it.  The principals I once stood on have not vanished, but they have changed.  I will never vanquish my feisty rebellious nature, nor do I desire that end.  But I do need to act with realistic reasoning and face my idealistic self head on.  Life is a constant journey full of winding roads and ever changing paths.  This process of merging onto the highway of conformity has been terribly uncomfortable and humbling, but what I am learning is that life does not have to be such a battle and so terribly defeating when it doesn't turn out like the dream.  And also, that dream changes forms as time goes by.  Life is very good for all intents and purposes.  It's time to swallow my pride, put on my big girl pants, and gracefully step into a new frontier.

2 comments:

  1. Like you, I always wanted to do something different. However priority one always came down to having the income that would allow me to do the things I so much enjoy. I am certain that if I move to Ecuador, Spain, or anywhere else and start a business I will succeed to a certain degree. However I am afraid that I may not have the freedom to continue traveling.

    Life is about balancing all of our needs. On one hand we crave for adventure, cultural experiences, and spiritual healing. On the other we need that financial cushion in order to eat, have a comfortable roof over our head, and save for when we get old.
    Nobody understands how often I agonize thinking of all the things I could be doing differently but instead have settled for a regular job. A job that seems more and more ridiculous and useless everyday. I guess that I have not really found that balance.

    You may not have the financial wealth of your peers but you need to consider that you have accumulated a large amount of experiences and cultural understanding. These are priceless and you have acquired them while roaming the world. Your "wealthy" peers are just starting that journey now. Have you tried talking to them about your travel experiences and have you noticed how they don't understand your excitement? You really can't communicate that well with them. Think of them as lacking something. Remember that many are on cruise control while waiting for a month or less of vacation time. Then finally they can pretend that they are in control of their life even if just for a short time.

    As you start a new chapter, try to dig deep and put your experiences to work for you.
    They say one should leverage existing skills and experiences when re-inventing ourselves.

    Good luck...

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    Replies
    1. Thank you for this, Eduardo. I agree and am learning how to achieve that balance everyday. It will happen, just takes a little believing and effort.

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