Saturday, May 14, 2011

It's Hard to Find Things When You Are Looking For Them

I woke up this morning with a pounding headache and the residue of a tromoltuous evening filled with drama and heightened emotions.  I had been dreaming vividly this morning and this montra, that it is dificult to find things when you are looking, was the last clear memory from the dream.  As I came to and recalled the previous hectic evening, I realized that this is true in so many different regaurds, even in unexpected situations like last night's explosion.  We all have experienced those moments when you are desperately searching high and low for you keys only to discover they were nestled safely in your pocket, waiting for you to stop tearing apart your house trying to find them.  The same is true with other, less tangable things.  Last night I discovered the true strength of my friendship here with the very girls I was passionately arguing with.  Being here, living this uncertain life, can create great stress, but also bonds people in the most incredible ways.  I was in no way expecting such a lousy situation to transform into finding out that these people were such amazing friends to me.  I am learning this lesson the hard way since I always seem to be seeking out something more- a possible future career, where to settle my roots, even prince charming.  Slowly but surely I must stop deliberately searching for these things and allow them to materialize naturally when I am not expecting it.  My dear friends reminded me of how important this was last night as I stressed endlessly about things I simply can't control.  We can all gain from this very true phenominon and I for one will do my best to let life flow and stop searching so tirelessly for what is likely right infront of my face once I stop looking.

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