Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Falling in Love Again

With the sunny skies greeting me every morning and accompanying my day, I am suddenly remembering again why I came here in the first place.  Yesterday between my class commutes, I spotted a tiny gravel park near my bus stop and decided my lunch would be much better if eaten on one of the little benches, doused in patches of sun.  As I sat, doing nothing but quietly watching the passer-byers and enjoying a late day meal, it dawned on me that this is what it is to be here doing this.  All winter long I felt so isolated and cooped up in my little apartment or escaping into various smoky cafes.  But all of that has completely changed as Spain finally gets to show me what she's all about.  It's even visible on the faces of people on the metro and in the streets as their blank looks now have a touch of easiness and contentment to them.  Spain has come alive in the most remarkable way and finally I'm no longer scrounging for reasons to stay and plans to leave.  I want to be here and nowhere else in this moment.  It still frustrates me to not be able to clearly communicate and to feel like a silly foreigner most of the time, but something has shifted inside of me and I've come to accept, even appreciate, this role I have here.  I'm not Spanish and therefore I certainly do not fit in.  Yet at this point in time I'm not American either.  I'm just a visitor, embracing the beauty of another land that is still quite foreign to me and falling in love with all the wonderful subtleties that make Spain such a uniquely special place.

1 comment:

  1. I like your blog, Lauren. It's great to read about what you've been up to. Viva Espana!