Monday, March 28, 2011

"Sometime's you wanna go, where everybody knows your name..."

I woke up this morning with images of Boston and the sound track to "Cheer's" running on loop in my head.  It comes to little supirse because when I fell asleep I had that pesky urge for comfort that is peering up more and more day by day.  There was a time where I followed my dreams as literally as I could.  It's how I got to this point in many ways.  When I was tossing and turning for months, struggling through my IBM job, I continued to ask myself what I should do: stay or go.  The message was clear from my work nightmares and I took it as a strong message that something needed to change. 

So now, with this tune playing in my mind and that warm feeling of being surrounded by a community where I am truly a part of it, I can't help but question if this is where I need to be.  Damn it!  Just when I think I've got it all figured out.  Timing is really everything and I know this city of more stability and familiarity, whether it be Boston, New York, Portland... who knows.. doesn't need to happen right this second.  But sooner than later?  Another year abroad or not?  The problem is, if I go back to the states and try to lay down foundation for a more long term stay where I can actually have this community, I need to make other decisions that go way beyond location.  I need to find a... real job.  Ah!  I don't have any problem working a real job, but the real question is what kind.  That's the part I'm not ready to decide, but at least I am giving myself more motivation as the desire to be in a more stabilized lifestyle where English is the language and I can go about things a bit more naturally is there.

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