Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Creating My Story

It is a wondrous thing to hop off the familiar road and take this mysterious journey to realize my passion.  Sometimes it takes a little spark of coincidence and nudge of encouragement to remind myself why I am being so relentless in following my dreams.  After all, it isn't even a materialized, rational dream that I am following.  Learn Spanish and teach people English?  Why?  Honestly I never never really cared much about either.  (Even this blog is riddled with evidence that my grammar and spelling is below par, so why on earth am I going to teach it?)  The fact is, it's not about the new job or location from which I rest my head at night.  I sit up in my tiny bed in my closet sized room in my apartment in Madrid, reflecting on how I got here and wondering what the future will hold.  At times, I drown in my own anxiety that this bubble will burst and I will be not one step beyond where I was before. Before I left, so many would ask my why doubt my objectives.  Now I am here and those voices sometimes trickle in, allowing my restless mind to play tricks on me.  But then in an instant, I get that rush of peace and clarity and I remember why I am doing this.  It seems that when I need it the most, a crazy unexplained coincidence will occur that provides me with that wonderful feeling of simply knowing this is all perfect and right.  Those chance moments are happening more and more for me and even though I can't figure any of it out, I just know.

I am doing this semi-crazy thing because I want to control my own destiny and follow my own way.  I want to create my story and go where the wind takes me.  As I truck along, faced with unforeseen challenges and asking new questions, I realize that life truly can be whatever I want it to be.  My own mind will inevitably be my only barrier.  If I can just keep pushing forward and following my heart then I know my story will be one with no regrets and filled with happiness that is hard to even comprehend right now.  I don't know what the future will hold for me.  My career is a mystery, but I am planting many seeds as I cut out my trail through these mysterious woods that are my future.  My heart is full of love and my mind is wide open, ready to follow any twist and turn that feels right.  The near future holds so much possibility and wonder... It may seem scary at time, but the results so far have been brilliant and I'm really enjoy making up the chapters as I go.

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