Thursday, May 27, 2010

And so it ends....

Just like that, it's over. In a snap, the most incredible experience of my life is done. Today I have been living vicariously through my own past adventure as I get every last photo from every country organized and online. It's my way of staying busy, giving my trip tangible validation. So now, I sit here at home, still buzzing from the time I spent away, and can only think of how to make this type of living never end. It is hard to get used to just sitting here in Raleigh and settling into some structured, settled lifestyle again. I need to keep moving, exploring, meeting people like I met while on the road. But how? The trip for me was not merely a vacation to see pretty sites and party. It was a deeper experience for me that turned out being even more incredible than I could have ever anticipated. Finding the words to describe the feelings I have right now are nearly impossible. As I made the long flight back yesterday from London to Raleigh, it was impossible to stop the lumps in my throat and the tears in my eyes from overwhelming me. I had to say farewell to much more than a list of various locations.

When I look back at all my photos, this blog, my little scraps of paper shoved in my bag with names and addresses, my now empty backpack I was living out of, priceless memories rush through my mind. I miss the tiny beds and crappy community showers in all those hostels I called home; I miss the rickety train rides from country to country; I miss the cheap sandwiches and free hostel breakfasts of toast and corn flakes; I miss the delirious conversations that manifested from lack of sleep and too much boozing; I miss the banter in foreign languages all around me and the crazy drivers and being completely lost in new cities and the smoke filled bars. I miss it all. More than anything I will miss those individuals that touched my soul, those people I could be completely honest with and they loved me even more for doing it. They have changed me forever. I feel as though a void that I have always tried to fill is gone. I feel more than satisfied. This experience has uplifted me and brought me indescribable joy. Beyond the current sadness for it's closure, I feel sheer gratitude for being able to embark on such a special journey. I am so blessed. All I can say now is thank you, thank you, thank you...

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